


Then I Defy You (Stars)

by opheliasashes



Series: A Handful of Shadows [3]
Category: Fullmetal Alchemist - All Media Types, Fullmetal Alchemist: Brotherhood & Manga
Genre: F/M, Immortality, Secret Marriage, Secret Relationship, and yes eventually he will have to watch lan fan die, cant seem to get away from using stars in the title either, isnt that fun, lingfanweek, yes ling is immortal, yes the title is unapologetically a Shakespeare reference
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-07-13
Updated: 2017-07-13
Packaged: 2018-12-01 11:30:26
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,017
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11485488
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/opheliasashes/pseuds/opheliasashes
Summary: Lingfan Week 2017Day Four: ImmortalityLove, Ling realizes, is a looming, hulking thing and for all of its capacity for kindness, it is also monstrous.





	Then I Defy You (Stars)

Ling finds aging to be a curious thing. The way it takes the body and molds its experiences into spots and scars, laughter lines and crow’s feet. For his entire life, Ling has known age as something to be conquered. His mother attempted it through a collection of potions and powders and the entire Yao court singing the praises of her loveliness, his father through a commandment of inheritance through legend. So he had grown to fear it at first, and then to defy it. He had crossed the world for it, dueled myth and monster, and lived to tell the tale. And now he rules as the myth itself, Ling Yao, the twelfth son, Emperor of Xing, beloved by his people. 

Lan Fan hears the rumours of the court. They whisper of how well His Imperial Majesty is aging. How it must be a blessing from the gods. Lan Fan hears the rumours and doesn’t say much of anything. She doesn’t know if Ling is immortal. Neither does he. He says he never had a chance to ask the homunculus, hadn’t planned on Greed ever leaving his body, so why would he ask him what would happen if he did? 

Research proves to be inconclusive. After all, not many host a homunculus and live to tell the tale. The Elric brothers promise to keep an eye out for anything they might find in their research, but so far, nothing. Lan Fan doesn’t suspect that they will ever find a definitive answer. She decided long ago that she will have to be content to pushy the greying strands of hair behind her ears and watch to see if Ling will ever manage to age beyond his late twenties. She has a strong back and good hands but there are moments when she wonders how long she will be able to hold out for. After all, she never has been and never wants to be immortal. 

Ling swears he will love her for all of his days. That the callouses on her hands make her more beautiful to him because they are the results of devotion. He finds moments for her whenever he can, takes her hand into his when they are alone, holds her tight for the few special nights they are allowed to fall asleep together. He likes to talk about their wedding vows when they are drifting off to the world of the sleeping. He doesn’t ever mention how they were sworn in secret, how the only people who know could be counted on Lan Fan’s right hand. The fifty-first wife of the Emperor. Truly she should be counted as the first because he married her before he was torn to bits between the other clans.  


Of course, Lan Fan knows the number doesn’t really matter. Ling loves her, tells her he loves her, shows her he loves her with every beat of his heart. And she loves him with the same reverence she had when they crossed the desert all those years ago. 

Ling seems to have developed a knack for defying the reaper, but the older he gets, the more he realizes it seems to be he can only save his own skin. Ling watches his mother shapeshift knowing her time is limited. Knows her powders and potions have taken their tole on her body. He thanks the stars that the amount of times he has seen Lan Fan use such products are few and far between. But they are not immune and neither are the rest of his wives or his children. It makes his feel as though there were something crawling between his skin. 

They discuss it every now and again. In the quiet moments before the dawn breaks when she will have to pick up the clothes strewn around the floor and commit the vanishing act she is so very good at. Ling doesn’t ever outright suggest they continue to search for immortality for her. After all, they both know what it takes for the method that is tried and true and in his heart Ling knows Lan Fan could never accept an existence powered by a philosopher’s stone. That doesn’t stop the most selfish parts of his heart from wanting to give that to her because he has no idea how to continue his own existence if she isn’t present. His constant, his humility, his love, his better half. 

It makes him shudder, but he often wonders if the creation of a philosopher’s stone for Lan Fan’s sake could make him feel guilty. It’s a question he has never been able to answer and he doesn’t outright know if he wants to. Love, Ling realizes, is a looming, hulking thing and for all of its capacity for kindness, it is also monstrous. 

Ever so often Lan Fan thinks back to the wedding ceremony between Alphonse and Mei. Specifically, she recalls the Resembool portion of the ceremony. There was a line in the binding phrase that brought together their union: to death do us part. There had been no such line in her vows to Ling, but she feels those words in her bones. Lan Fan has seen death, felt his breath on the back of her neck, and she does not fear it. However, she has no desire to leave her lord alone. She has made vows to protect him with her life and to give him all her love for all of her days. She wishes she had more than one life to give him. She prays that it will be enough.  


Light breaks through the bedroom of the imperial palace in waves. The two figures in the bed manage to drift into consciousness rather eloquently. The woman softly runs her fingers through the long hair of the man who has wound his legs through hers. They kiss for a while, simple and slow, as the morning light turns everything in the world of the bedroom to liquid gold. Finally, once they have found their voices, still rough with sleep, all they can do is whisper. 

“You’re beautiful.”

**Author's Note:**

> Day Four is here and that means we finally get a touch of angst! I tried to keep things pretty fluffy this week, but I just can't look at an immortality prompt without going 'yeah ok but one of them has gotta die'. Anyway, I really enjoyed this one in particular more than I thought I would! So enjoy!


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